When I sat down with Dr. Lucille O’Neal to discuss her latest book, While I Have Your Attention, I was deeply moved by her raw honesty and vulnerability. It’s not often that you encounter someone who lays bare the complexities of their life—pregnancy as a teenager, navigating single motherhood, and growing up under the heavy shadow of the past. As I read her story, I was struck by how much of it resonated with my own experiences, particularly regarding my understanding of my mother’s upbringing.
I shared with Dr. O’Neal that while reading her book, I felt as if I was also unraveling layers of my own family’s history. Growing up in a time when Black families were just a generation or two removed from slavery, my mother, like so many others, didn’t grow up in an environment where love was freely expressed in words or affection. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I started to hear the words “I love you” from her, and hugs became a part of our relationship. Dr. O’Neal writes beautifully about this generational trauma—how our grandparents and great-grandparents were descendants of slaves, unable to show affection out of fear that the people they loved could be sold away. I asked her how she was able to break this cycle and give her children a love that was both emotional and physical.
Dr. O’Neal spoke candidly about how she made a conscious effort to show love differently than her ancestors. “My grandparents raised me with love through protection, warmth, and food on the table,” she said, “but I knew I wanted more for my children. I wanted them to feel it and hear it. I made sure my kids knew they were loved, no matter how tough things got. It was important for me to be that bridge between the past and the future—a future where we could show affection freely.”
As we explored deeper into her journey, I brought up something that truly struck me in the book—her resilience. At just 17, pregnant and alone, she was living in an era where single motherhood was stigmatized. Depression followed, but so did an incredible rebound. I asked how she was able to pull herself up from that dark place and find her footing. “It was hard,” she admitted. “I didn’t always know what to do, but I knew I couldn’t stay down. My faith played a huge role, but I also had to learn how to forgive myself and accept where I was. I wasn’t the first young mother, and I wouldn’t be the last. I had to lean on the people around me and believe that I could do better—for myself and for my child.”
We also discussed how her life evolved after she married and became the mother of one of the most recognizable athletes in the world. Dr. O’Neal talked about the challenges of stepping back and letting her husband develop his own relationship with Shaquille. “That wasn’t easy,” she said, laughing. “I was used to being the one in control, but I had to let them have that space. It helped me grow too. It allowed me to understand that I wasn’t just Shaquille’s mom or someone’s wife—I was Lucille. And I had to find out who she was.”
Dr. O’Neal’s words hit me hard, especially when she spoke about reclaiming herself. She admitted that for years, she had mastered the roles of wife and mother but had no idea how to be Lucille. I asked how she was able to let go of the idea of perfection and get to know herself. “It was a long process,” she said. “For a long time, I thought I had to be perfect for everyone else. But over time, I realized that perfection is an illusion. I started spending time on my own, reading, praying, and discovering the things that made me happy. I realized that being Lucille wasn’t about being perfect—it was about being real.”
I shared with Dr. O’Neal how much that journey toward self-love resonated with me, as so many of us, especially as Black women, struggle with the weight of perfection. I told her that while reading her book, I began to see how much my own life has been shaped by the generations before me and how their wounds, though unspoken, have impacted me.
One thing I was curious about as I read While I Have Your Attention was the absence of a sense of mother wounds. With so much conversation today around that topic, I didn’t feel that weight in her story. When I asked her about it, she paused and said, “It’s funny you mention that. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it in those terms. My relationship with my mother wasn’t perfect, but she gave me what she could. I didn’t harbor resentment, and I think that’s why I don’t feel that wound so deeply.”
Dr. O’Neal’s story is one of triumph, but it’s also one of healing. As I read her book, I couldn’t help but reflect on how her words were slowly mending some of the fractured places within me. Her journey toward self-love and understanding reminded me that healing is possible—not just for us as individuals, but for our entire lineage. Dr. O’Neal’s ability to turn pain into purpose is something that has left a lasting mark on me, and I know her story will continue to inspire countless others.
While I Have Your Attention is out now wherever books are sold!
1 Comment
Teanne Jones
Now that I have your attention my name is Teanne Michonda Hiyacinth Jones and I really want to meet your son I find him very attractive funny professional and he seems like a gentleman to me . I’m single with no kids .
April 26, 2026 at 6:54 pm