At this point, unless you’re brand new to the dating scene then you probably won’t be anyones first, last, and only lover. Let’s face it, break-ups happen and they aren’t always amicable but, what happens when your ex stays in their feelings and makes it nearly impossible to move on? Here’s a few things that should help you deal with the drama:
Give It Time
Nothing drives an ex crazier than y’all breaking up on a Tuesday and then seeing you out on Friday with your new Bae. Not saying that once a relationship is over you are still confined to caring about their feelings but, chances are just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean the feelings stopped that day as well. Nothings wrong with having a little grace period before jumping back on the scene.
Leave The “New” Bae Alone
Here’s the thing, dating somebody once upon a time does not equate to having them for life. You can be the first love, the baby mama, baby daddy, the one the family loved and all that and it don’t mean a thing when the relationship ends. People move on and so should you. No need to keep coming around, going to family functions and then throwing shade because you think they can’t get no better than you. The only thing this proves is that YOU STILL CARE.
Control Alt + Delete
Social Media becomes the Devil when you can’t help but have your sister babymama cousin friend and bestie troll through your exes page to find out what they doing, and who they doing it with. If you’re having that hard of a time letting go, then maybe it’s a good idea to block them for a while until you can handle seeing their life go on without you. You look like an obsessed stalker and it becomes harder to move on when all you’re doing is trying to see what’s going on with them.
No Flex Zone
This is much easier said than done but, if you are the new boo thang and the ex is giving you a hard time; understand that it is not always your place to say something. Don’t allow the situation to escalate into arguments and full blown fights. If the situation is this intense then you need to evaluate if it’s worth being in and if you are getting all the facts of the story.
Unless there are children involved and you have to have some means of communication. All those good morning, thinking bout you, do you miss me texts are unnecessary and stunt your ability to move on.
Keep It Real
Every loss is not really a loss. So, instead of being in your feelings about not being with him/her anymore; think about all the reasons which led you to break up in the first place. You argued all the time, they were selfish, your needs weren’t being fulfilled etc. No one likes to feel like they are losing something or someone but, when it wasn’t even the best situation, why trip? Chuck the deuces and keep it moving.
Don’t Be Naive
Facts of life: Men lie. Women lie. Keep your eyes open and guard your heart not only from getting hurt but, from being lied to, mislead and deceived. Be certain that the drama is not stemming from your partner being dishonest if you choose to move forward with them.
About the Author: @TheWIseGem is a Writer, Mother and avid believer in happily ever after. Follow her on Instagram|Twitter @TheWiseGem